Welcome to Tea Time!

Thank you for stopping by my place for some tea. During tea time I like to chat about any old thing on my mind... So pull up a chair, place your napkin across your lap, take a sip from your cup (but be careful, it might be hot) and feel free to join in.

I'm pleased that you are here.

Friday, December 24, 2010

eating salsa on Christmas Eve

First off...

IT WAS AWESOME!!!

...

...

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and then...

IT WAS HURTFUL!!!

And as the rest of the story goes, i am of mexican heritage, NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH CULTURE, with my maternal grandmother being mexican and my maternal grandfather being half mexican and half irish. these grandparents of mine have 18 grandchildren including myself. now, as it turns out, i am the darkest. it's true, my grandpa called me his, "indian (referring to east indian) princes" only once or twice of course... actually the nick name "juicy" was the one that stuck, as in "juicy, jennifer lopez." but that's for another blog.

anyway, i am a brown person lost in a sea of white cousins with brown, light brown and blond hair. the boys have red and red tinted beards, with and assortment of brown, blue, green and hazel eyes. SOME of them have embraced their mexican heritage and culture, surprising unsuspecting people with their knowledge of "mexican" spanish and  ALL of them, excluding myself, with a love mexican cooking, possibly also my youngest brother... but that's neither here nor there...

the point is that i am often mistaken for many things, mexican, east indian, indian indian, various parts of asian, and so on but one thing is for sure...

AT THE VERY HEART OF IT ALL;

i am nothing but a white girl from michigan in a VERY attractive mexican girl's clothing...

Till next time,
Tea Time.

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

The NightS before Christmas...

Okay, so we are here, in the final stretch before the BIG day. yes, i'm talking about Christmas. Fortunately this year, my house isn't so crazy. we have family and not very much of a cash flow to go around so there are a few homemade presents under the tree who seem to be enjoying the company of the presents that came from the dollar section at target. you know what i'm referring to, even if you don't want to admit it. AND THEN we have a few presents courtesy of russell stover, courtesy of food stamps, courtesy of tax payers everywhere.

but all in all, i think its going to be a great Christmas, because Christmas isn't about the wii's and the PS3's and the blue ray players and the 3D televisions with their annoying little glasses... (even though those things are SUPER AWESOME!!!)

Christmas is about family and sharing the things that you ARE fortunate enough to have with others. It's about traditions and good will toward men and baby Jesus... and if you manage to squeeze the latest toy trend that you paid 400% more for than the mom who put it on k-mart layaway two weeks before halloween in there somewhere too, well then you should just give yourself a big pat on the back...

you did good,

you did good.

Till next time,
Tea Time

Sunday, December 12, 2010

BAD drivers

Bad drivers can come from anywhere at any time and be any gender or age. Now, i'm of the persuasion that the majority of bad drivers are women.... i say this because, i am a woman. i get it and anyone who gets in the car with me gets it too. i usually throw out a little disclaimer that goes something like, "so you obviously don't know how i drive, yet, but i'll be the first to admit that's its pretty terrible, and that yes i am a woman and that is why i am crappy at driving."

WOMEN though have some pretty good excuses for being horrible on the road, IE. yelling kids, handing objects to people in the back seat, calling ahead to their next appointment to report that they are going to be just late enough to be embarrassed but not late enough to cancel, and last, but most importantly they have a MILLION things going through their mind at once. who in the world would expect them to pay attention while driving... well cops for one; who i might point out, are mostly men!

MEN, on the other hand, THINK ABOUT NOTHING, so right there they are better at paying attention to and following the lines and colors, the simple things that take them back to their kindergarten days. What makes men bad drivers is that most of them don't have any regard for anyone or anything.

So here is what this is really about:

I WAS ALMOST FRIKIN T-BONED TODAY BY A RANCHERO (man in a big truck with a large cowboy hat and a tiny mustache with dark skin and light eyes) WHO RAN A STOP SIGN!!!

and i wanted to rant about it.

until next time,
Tea time

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Punishing kids

i hate doing it! i mean, "what the hell???" why don't they just do what you say. you say, "darlings would you like to watch tv for an hour? as a special treat, my love?" or something like that.... then they yell at you for no reason, when you are being a perfectly great parent, "i hate this channel, i hate you, you SUCK! you are horrible PUT MY SHOW ON!!! PUT IT ON NOW BIT@H!!!" then you say, "alright sweetheart, but don't you think you should speak to me in a little nicer tone? I want us all to be happy my love... hmmm?" then they look at you with beady wrathful eyes and whisper, in a very scary and creepy way i might add, " you change the channel right now or i will kill you with my thoughts and set our house on fire with my magic." then you do what they say cause you have to get to your bedroom quickly to change the pants you just pooed in and you didn't want your four year old to notice how frightened you are of them.

ok ok, this is obviously not really what happens on a day to day basis, but we as parents are to soft on our kids, they do something wrong and instead of a swat we give them a hug because they are only acting out for our love. now don't get me wrong, i'm all for timeout and NOT for beat downs but why does "Super Nanny" even exist? these people are absolutely ridiculous. Their kids are crappy kids because they are crappy parents. and these parents really act like the above said and let their kids act as said as well.

SO HERE IT IS:

if your kids slam the door to their bedroom or lock you out, TAKE THEIR DOOR AWAY

if they don't want to eat what you give them, DON'T FEED THEM TILL THEY EAT WHAT IS ON THEIR PLATE. THEY WILL NOT STARVE YOU IDIOTS!!!

if they acts like babies instead of acting their age, TAKE THEIR BIG KID BED AWAY AND REPLACE IT WITH A TODDLER MATTRESS UNTIL THEY GET THE POINT

if they don't listen or talk back to you, PUT THEM IN TIMEOUT, AT THE FIRST OFFENCE! IF YOU HAVE TO SAY IT TWICE YOU ARE WEAK AND NEED TO TAKE A PARENTING CLASS.

(ok, so i'm being a little harsh... this IS a blog after all... again, YOU IDIOTS!)

So the moral of the story is just be better parents than you are, and not pitiful excuses for sacks of crap, and your kids won't be crappy either.

Friday, December 10, 2010

New Blog, First Post

Ugh! how boring! i bet everyone titles their first blog, "New Blog" or "First Post" or if you want to be a real douche you combine the two like i did. i bet every time someone sees a title like this they think, "oh yeah, im sure this person just has a TON of great things for me to read about. they can't even think of a catchy, witty name for their fist entry on their new blog. Check out this chick in particular, she obviously knows how to use uppercase, she's just lazy!" and how many people start out their new blogs assuming what you are thinking as you are reading it? i bet you're thinking, "Golly! Doesn't this person, 'The Helz' have anything original to say?"

Clearly, i don't. so you should just stop reading this blog. I mean, it's entitled, "Tea Time" you can't get more boring than tea time. what, do i have some kind of grandma complex??? so just stop reading and never come back. never come back to listen to my ridiculous thoughts that i vomit on to this page while i'm sipping my tea. just toss the name, "The Helz" from your mind and never give it another thought. everything i have to say is completely unoriginal and not even good for a laugh. which is really why you decided to even come this far... disappointing isn't it.

Seriously, out of the 50 billion other blogs you could be reading... why are you still here?

Until next time,
 Tea Time