Before we get started i'd just like to point, "how you doin'?" (voice of Joey from the hit 90's tv show, Friends) so now that you have his voice in your head i'm gonna say this about the whole pooping and best ideas thing that brought you here in the first place... "you know wat i talk 'n bout"
yea, that's not the joey voice. Sorry...
Why don't we just move on. hm?
We all do it, men and women alike, and no matter how much we refuse to admit it... it's one of life's little guilty pleasures and we enjoy our time on the john.
no, not actual JOHNS, i'm talking about
i'll start over, Poop.
It's very nice to know that poop can happen so that we can take a few minutes out of our VERY busy lives to ourselves. In the quiet and still of the bathroom (regardless of the bathroom [except maybe the one at your local Allsup's]) we ponder about our day thus far. we think about the degrading things our bosses said to us and what we would have said back to them, had the time been right and also if having a house wasn't a necessity. we think about the people we like and the funny conversations we've had and right in the middle of prairie doggin' it, just for a few seconds in case we get interrupted, WE HAVE OUR BEST IDEA OF THE DAY...
DUHN DUHN DUHN DUHN JOHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
"Ok seriously! Stop thinking about John! SICKO, who is john anywa.... uh you know what? forget i asked."
back to the best idea of the day. you know the idea that will have everybody that ever existed talking. the pillow pet idea.
And then that sucker just drops right on down into the toilet, and the water splashes up and gets your bottom all wet and in the utter disgust and contempt that you are feeling for yourself someone knocks on the door and asks if you are almost finished.
you panic, get cleaned up as much as possible (although you know you will probably have to check later) pull up your pants and wash your hands to make a GRAND, CLEAN, EXIT. thinking no one will ever know even if you did forget to spray the courtesy air freshener... "dangit! next time" you think to yourself. though deep in your heart you know it's never going to happen.
and in the mayhem, you forget all about your great idea and you are now secretly thanking me, because it is all coming back to you because of my post. (and remember kids, sharing is caring. email this delightful and insightful post to a friend you really love.)
Your welcome, one and all... and remember me in your charitable contributions.
Till next time,