Welcome to Tea Time!

Thank you for stopping by my place for some tea. During tea time I like to chat about any old thing on my mind... So pull up a chair, place your napkin across your lap, take a sip from your cup (but be careful, it might be hot) and feel free to join in.

I'm pleased that you are here.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

It's been a while since a post but since a post there has been a Valentine's day

It's been really great for me these past few days! I have become a Miche bag representative and if you don't know what a Miche bag is then visit my website at mymichebag.com/alexis_anaya
At this site you can check out all the Miche has to offer. I am very very glad for this in my life because truthfully I have been having a hard time feeling in control of the things that I do. I stay at home with my three children, all under the age of 5 and my fiance is also here because his father is sick and we are taking care of him. 

I love my fiance and he is such a strong and loving man, but because I don't bring in any money of my own I feel like I must ask for permission for things that I want. 

I have looked very deep into myself as I have been asking why do I feel this way. I take care of my household and have sacrificed a lot to help my father in law be as comfortable as he can. Why can I not just declare that I need something and give it to myself? 

The answer to this question lies with my ex husband. Without going into to much detail I want to say that my being IE, physical, emotion and mental, needs were not being met and were, in effect, being abused. The result being that I did not feel that I was worth anything that I asked for, and that I only had a right to have or want something if I earned it myself.

Now, I am not meaning  to say that my fiance continues this pattern in our relationship. But I feel the effects of this previous abuse still. 

As I am not as strong in my own person yet to believe my fiance when he tells me that I don't have to ask permission to get something that I need, I decided that I wanted to pursue a part time job where I can still care for my house and home and bring in some income to bring up my self esteem and self worth. So far, I am loving it!

I hope that I can continue to grow and love myself in the true spirit of Valentine's Day , The way St. Valentine was inspired by our Lord to love others.

I am a work in progress, I understand that, and my goal is to get to a place where I feel that I am equal to my fiance and that I deserve to have what I need because I am worth it. But I recognize the places where I need work and because of this recognition, I have some hope of overcoming it.

Now, speaking of Valentine's, my honey and I celebrated on Saturday and it started with a beautiful bouquet of flowers and one of my favorite gourmet cookies. We then had lunch in this beautiful and private  restaurant (Jinja), the same restaurant where we spent our first Valentine's Day together, and then we went to the movies to watch, "True Grit". It was lovely. My fiance also entertained the idea to make me and our family dinner and when he asked me what I wanted to have I told him Arby's. It was great!

I love that he loves me and that he encourages me to love myself. And that when we are weak and we love ourselves more than we love each other, we can see how we are wrong and forgive the other. I am learning so much about the way I can and should be and about the way a healthy relationship can and should be. I am very happy with all the learning  and loving and I can only live my life striving to learn and love more and more everyday.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

my other kid says the darndest things!

This morning after I got out of the shower my middle daughter Haidyn sat on the floor and saw my bra hanging on the door.

Haidyn, "Hey mom?"
Me, "Yea Haidyn?"
Haidyn, (pointing to my bra) "Is that your boobie skates?"
Me, "No Haidyn... it's my bra."
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157 lbs

I just weighed myself and I came out on top at 157!!!! I'll keep chugging along!
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Tuesday, February 8, 2011

I want to pledge to myself...

I want to pledge to myself that I am worth something, not because I am a woman or a wife or a mom.
Not because I run around all day making sure everything is done.
Not because I need a pedicure... badly,
cause the stank is just to strong.

Not because I'm tired of the things running through my mind.
The past things along with the present and the future all entwined.
Not because my hair is madly, raging
cause my split ends have no bind.

Not because my arms are constantly being pulled,
Not because my love handles are constantly being fulled.
It's not because of my little dog is sadly, waiting to be walked,
And not because my husband can't wait any longer for "my headache" to be subdued.

But I pledge because I want myself to know that I am worth it just for me,
Because I am more than just a woman or wife or mom, and these things do not define me.
Because I know that I can still be ANYTHING I want to be.
I want to pledge to myself,
That I am worth it,
That I can make it happen,
Because I am a mom or a wife or a woman
I know I can do it all

And that my pledge that I AM worth something will stand strong.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Ahhh the snow... REALLY SUCKS!

i live in the desert and i HATE the snow. i don't like the blinding whiteness, i don't like the wetness or the coldness of it. i don't like that it takes the same amount of time to dress for it as it does to play in it. i don't like how pipes freeze and bust and you can't get a plumber to come out because they are too busy fixing their own pipes. i don't like the cold you get stuck with for three days after you go outside for three minutes to get the mail. i don't like snow days, because your kids have to stay home with you ALL DAY LONG!

pretty much i just don't like it at all. i wish i did, some people i know seem to have so much fun in the snow: skiing and snowboarding, drinking hot cocoa, making snow angels...

1. i have never been skiing and after the hell i went through trying to snowboard ONCE, i'm not likely to try it.
2. i'm allergic to chocolate... (im not really, i LOVE chocolate and i feel so sorry for people who can't partake in it's deliciousness :-()
3. i don't have anything against angels but i can't stand the sound of snow crunching and you have to lie down IN THE SNOW to make a snow angel and that sound is literally in your ears... ugh!

so please don't judge me, just judge the snow and seriously think about whether its worth it or not to go out there in the treacherous weather. unless of course you have to brave it to bring me a pizza... yummm! XD

Till next time,
Tea Time